d12 Replacements for +1 Swords

I don't like +1 swords.  They're a pure mechanical construct.  There's nothing you can imaginatively grab on to about them.  Close your eyes and try to visualize a +1 sword.  What does it look like?  Is it a normal sword, but a bit more shiny?  Maybe some runes on the blade, or gems in the hilt?  It's hopelessly generic.

And for an item that exists for purely mechanical purposes, they're not very mechanically interesting.  Having a +1 sword forces no new decisions on you.  A wand or a potion- you have to decide when to use it, who to target or benefit, whether it's a good use of resources.  But a +1 sword just makes you hit harder.

I've tried to brainstorm some replacements below.  Each one has its own unique flavor, and most of them have an additional ability on top of the +1.  They're not necessarily balanced.

d12 REPLACEMENTS FOR +1 SWORDS

1) Giant King's Thighbone.  This +1 bone club is made from the thighbone of an ancient king of a tribe of giants.  Carved into the base is a puzzle map leading to the King's tomb high in the mountains.

2) Magical Spiked Hair Ornament.  Can be fastened into long hair and swung around.  If you grow your hair out really long, it'll act as a weapon with reach, like a polearm.

3) Moral Blade.  This sword has a rudimentary intelligence and set of morals.  Every time you make an attack you must explain yourself to it.  If it deeply approves of the morality of your actions, it's +2.  If it finds your actions evil, it's -1.  Otherwise, its +1.  They're fairly stupid, and you can sometimes trick them into believing that actions against their morality are actually good.  d4 moralities: (1- Dwarven.  Likes law, protecting dwarves, genocide against goblins, orks, giants, ogres.  2- Pacifist.  Hates violence against living creatures, loves violence against constructs and the undead (who often prey on the living).  3- Greedy.  Loves profit, hates altruism.  4- Authoritarian.  Wants to follow the precise letter of the law, no matter how stupid, self-contradictory, or evil.  Especially likes punishing wrongdoers.)

4) Fishfolk Blade.  This +1 longsword has a wave-patterned blade.  When the sword is fully submerged in water it's +2, and the user takes no penalties for fighting underwater.  They still can't breathe underwater, though.

5) Blade of Not Getting Bitten By Snakes.  Inspires a tremendous antipathy in snakes.  Protects the user from their bites and makes them immune to snake poison.  Provides no such advantages for their friends.

6) Elven Dancing Blade. Made for an ritual sword dance practiced primarily by elven children.  It's beautifully light and holds a razor-edge, but any elf who sees you using it will laugh themselves half to death.

7) Improperly Made Flaming Sword. Only the hilt is on fire.  Fire can be turned on and off as a quick action.  Fire also turns on if you critically fumble an attack roll.  Makes a surprisingly effective flaming club if you can find a way to hold it by the blade.

8) Dwarven Mechanic's Blade. Heavy, blocky, very difficult to sunder.  The pommel can act as a hex wrench, and the point as a (very large) screwdriver.  The weird protrusions from the cross-guard are skeleton keys which can be used to open basic Dwarven locks.  More sophisticated locks can just be bashed with the sword until they break.

8) Trick Scabbard.  The trick is that the scabbard is actually the +1 sword.  The blade in the scabbard is a blunt weapon for training.

9) Sham Paladin's Sword. The prior owner was a con-woman who pretended to be a paladin so as to sell fake miracles.  In order to make the sword appear to be flaming, she rigged an oil reservoir into the base which, when full, allows the user to set it on fire for an hour (swinging the sword around too vigorously, like in combat, causes the oil to slosh out and all over the user with predictable results).  She managed to trick a wandering holy man into actually blessing the thing before she sold it, so now it's +1.

10) A Book about Swords. After reading this boring, technical book about swords, you find you can visualize a +1 sword with such great detail that it can cut things in the real world.  You can make it appear and vanish whenever you choose, but anything that disturbs your calm causes the sword to vanish.  If it is sundered, you forget everything about swords and cannot wield even a mundane sword in combat until you reread the book (which also allows you to visualize the sword again) or spend a few hours practice-sparring with a friend.

11) Loyal Ioun Sword.  This sword slowly circles your head as you walk.  In times of trouble, it jumps from the air into your hand, saving you the trouble of drawing it.  It doesn't like being put in packs or anywhere else it can't move, and gets jealous if you use any other weapon in its place, but you can mollify it by playing with it for a while (throwing pebbles for it to parry and such).  It's about as smart as a golden retriever.  With some effort, you can train it to occasionally parry arrows out of the air or weakly attack people who try to murder you in your sleep.

12) The Root of a Mountain. A heavy chunk of stone that functions as a +1 club.  If left touching the ground (like when its owner camps for the night), a mound of earth and rock slowly grows over it (gains several feet of height every day).

I think I could see myself using some of these in games.  The sillier ones seem especially fun in low-level play- I like the idea of a 1st level fighter going around bashing things with their flaming sword-guard, or picking up a shiny weapon from a corpse and bringing down a plague of snakes on their party, or making hair-whip attacks at orks.  And I know I'm giving the barbarian in one of my parties a Moral Blade at the next good opportunity.